Monkey.

For those of you who read my blog, I'm going to continue to post until I leave on my mission so stay tuned...


I wish I read and commented on everyone's blogs so they would read mine.
I wish I had the time to read everyone's posts and then read their last one and be surprised by who it was. #realtalk.
I wish that I had a reason to write besides the fact that I want to be heard.

I write to vent, to reveal, and to create.
But that writing isn't meant for others. No one knows I write daily, things that are so creative that I impress myself.
I don't really want to reveal my ideas, thoughts, and opinions with others though.
I don't want their opinion.

I wrote things I was willing to share on this blog.
I wrote... things that come from my second heart, but maybe not my first heart.
First heart is shy.
First heart is quiet, but definitely has an opinion.
Second heart is loud, and isn't scared to tell people what he thinks.

You read my past and you listen to second heart.
I like second heart.
But I love first heart.


MEET FIRST HEART.

umm.... hi.
welcome to my.... house. my home is being built right now, this is my house. there is a difference.
i don't know exactly what to say, and i'm overwhelmed with delight. we may have different definitions of delight though.
my heart is full of letters and pumps words through my veins.
one time i wrote a poem about a monkey on my back.
here.

"I woke up one day and noticed something funny

and different.

There was a monkey on my back.

He didn't say much and was a constant burden.

I didn't want anyone to notice the monkey on my back.

I wore thick sweaters, and hoodies to cover up the monkey.

Go away monkey.

Eventually I became immune to his presence, and warmed up to the little fellow.

He wasn't so bad. He told me his name was John.

I embraced John and welcomed him into my life.

John was the monkey on my back.

One day John disappeared without a departing word.

But he left a note:

I was only on your back because you had a chip on your shoulder.

I liked the flavor of your chip.

Once you befriended me your chip was gone.

-Monkey

I now realize that not only was John a second burden,

but the monkey on my back,

had a monkey on his back."

-J.Stamos. -N.Walton.