face the space.

I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I knew it was necessary. I knew it was going to take awhile to get over, but I didn't know how long. I knew there was now going to be space between us, but I didn't know how much.

For the past 36 hours she's been on my mind. Every time my phone buzzes two-quick vibrations representing a text, I hope for her name.

~

I knocked on the door. Half of me wanting her to answer; the other half not so much. I feared the moment where we would have to make eye-contact for the first time again. I expected there to be space between us, but I didn't know how much.

We were all in a YOLO mood "per se". I drove us all around place-to-place; and shot-gun was empty with space, with me just hoping she'd fill it. Of course not, that would defeat the purpose of what we decided.

I didn't start much conversation between us because I knew every word I spoke, would just remind us of the night before. I didn't need any flashbacks, and she didn't either.

It was getting late and she stated it was time for her to go home.  We arrived back to our destination and she along with everyone else exited my car. That's the moment I faced the SPACE. She went the complete opposite direction around the vehicle to avoid confrontation with me. There is now SPACE.

How much? Someone please go find me a ruler, a tape-measure, a yard-stick; I need to measure this distance. I need to find the end of the space we created so I know what to expect. The more space the more space the more space I see, the more space I regret. We take it upon ourselves to decide how much space we will put between us. I just hope she wants the same amount as me.

~

I know this is what's right. I know space is necessary and what's best for the both of us.

What I didn't anticipate is how much I want this space to evaporate. Evaporate for the both of us. Eventually the space will be gone. Maybe the space will be gone and our lives will be so different we won't even notice. Maybe the space will be gone and that's the first thing we notice.

SPACE and TIME have an insane correlation.

I guess I just need time, and hopefully the space will dissipate.

For now my life is focused on other things, although my mind is focused on you.

Once I get my mind and life on the same track, I'll be able to face the space.

-J.Stamos.